Have you ever gone hiking in an unmarked area? Imagine trying to find the most beautiful waterfall ever created. This is a waterfall that only few people know how to get to, but everyone's starting point is different. You look on the ground and see that there are a few faint trails, but no sure trail. You must find this place with only a compass in hand. Along the way you may run into other hikers, but everyone seems to speak a different language.
Now imagine that you are someone watching this hiker via satellite connections. You can see the hiker, waterfall, and surrounding areas very clearly. From above you see this hiker walk closer and further away. You have no way of telling them if they are getting closer or further. In the end you simply watch this person day in and day out, try to reach their destination.
Each day we perform tasks almost identical to the day before. There must be more to life than waking up, filling the day, and trying to feel good about the day. It seems each day we repeat the same cycle. There are a few people who do something amazing with their life, and feel completely satisfied and content. These are the people who found their path and maybe even found their waterfall. Maybe part of what brings true happiness is following a personal journey. Lately I feel completely lost in what that journey is for me.
I use to be so sure of what I wanted from my life. Little by little things changed. Over time life seems to force a switch of directions. Life's obstacles get in the way. Over time there are dreams that we have to alter or change with each new situations (sometimes dropped altogether). Does this mean we are walking closer or further away from the path that will bring the most happiness? I suppose we simply make the wisest decision we can, given the information we have, and hope for the best.
When it comes to personal journeys, it seems some people feel guided on where to go and what to do with theirs. So what does someone do when everything changes? How does a person find a new path when someone's journey is forced to change?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Kindness Projects are Taking Over the World.
There was a time, at least once in each of our lives, that we dreamed of changing the world. Do you remember the film ‘Pay it Forward’?
This film was about and idea to change the world, for the better. The idea is simple. Kindness. The idea is to show kindness to others, only three others. Something happened. Worldwide this is a project, an idea, that has become a movement. This is something that occurred outside of the film.
Movements are happening around the globe. If you type in ‘kindness project’ into google, you will see. Each one of these has a hope. MAKE THE WORLD BETTER BY SHOWING KINDNESS. Imagine if this were possible.... turns out, it is possible. Many people have started, and are participating, in similar ideas. It starts with something simple; and if each person does their part, a giant change happens.
Each one of us wants the world to be better, and some people are actually trying to make it happen. We have inspirational teachers and professors, loving parents and adopted parents, we all have heros, TED talks and many more. What if the idea is purely for selfish reasons? SO WHAT! The idea would directly influence you and your life. Maybe your life would feel a little better too. Just like a person can never really have too much money, I don’t think anyone worries about being too happy.
Do you remember being a kid and seeing how grumpy some adults were? I don’t know about you, but seeing grumpy adults made me want to NEVER grow up. So, what is it about children that we find so intriguing? Children are not always kind to one another? Maybe the idea that is most inspiring to us is the idea of being free. You could act, play and imagine to your hearts content. Somewhere along the way it becomes emotionally unacceptable. Maybe it is time to bring a piece of this back into our hearts.
I would like to propose a new Kindness Project. This one is even simpler than going out of your way to help another (which I support fully). This project is about being kind to yourself.
We are all our own worst critics; and we are hardest on ourselves. Each one of us will start small, and with something simple; for example, do not put yourself down when you fail. Treat yourself as if you were someone you truly admired and respected. Treat yourself as you would that teacher who inspires you, or your loving parents (or the idea of loving parents). Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your hero or kid sister. Allow yourself to be empowered by yourself. Be your own hero, and treat yourself like one. To be clear, I am not saying that you should turn into a self-centered narcissist. Many of us are very kind to strangers, and to friends. Each of us beats ourself up when down. I am suggesting, that with practice, to be kinder to yourself. Give your own self pep-talks. Treat yourself every once in awhile. Buy yourself something nice, or treat yourself to a beautiful walk at sunset.
I believe that if each of us treats ourselves better on the inside, it will show on the outside. This is something that will spread. When a person feels good, they start to look and act better. I hypothesis that people will start to treat others even better, because they themselves feel better.
As all successful projects need, we need a simple beginning. I propose that we each start by being kind to ourselves three times this week. It could start with simply smiling at yourself in the mirror. We take time to smile to everyone else, how often do we smile at ourselves? Maybe give yourself a compliment, to start off with. The best part about this project is that it will continue to grow. You will become creative. Start simple and keep it up. Let your own inner kindness project be a focus. It is my hope that the inner kindness will spread in ourselves and others. I believe that this may help each of us take a step closer to finding our true happiness.
References:
1. ‘Pay it Forward Get Your Share!’ http://www.youtube.com/embed/JvbgetKzrmA. (21 June 2011)
This film was about and idea to change the world, for the better. The idea is simple. Kindness. The idea is to show kindness to others, only three others. Something happened. Worldwide this is a project, an idea, that has become a movement. This is something that occurred outside of the film.
Movements are happening around the globe. If you type in ‘kindness project’ into google, you will see. Each one of these has a hope. MAKE THE WORLD BETTER BY SHOWING KINDNESS. Imagine if this were possible.... turns out, it is possible. Many people have started, and are participating, in similar ideas. It starts with something simple; and if each person does their part, a giant change happens.
Each one of us wants the world to be better, and some people are actually trying to make it happen. We have inspirational teachers and professors, loving parents and adopted parents, we all have heros, TED talks and many more. What if the idea is purely for selfish reasons? SO WHAT! The idea would directly influence you and your life. Maybe your life would feel a little better too. Just like a person can never really have too much money, I don’t think anyone worries about being too happy.
Do you remember being a kid and seeing how grumpy some adults were? I don’t know about you, but seeing grumpy adults made me want to NEVER grow up. So, what is it about children that we find so intriguing? Children are not always kind to one another? Maybe the idea that is most inspiring to us is the idea of being free. You could act, play and imagine to your hearts content. Somewhere along the way it becomes emotionally unacceptable. Maybe it is time to bring a piece of this back into our hearts.
I would like to propose a new Kindness Project. This one is even simpler than going out of your way to help another (which I support fully). This project is about being kind to yourself.
We are all our own worst critics; and we are hardest on ourselves. Each one of us will start small, and with something simple; for example, do not put yourself down when you fail. Treat yourself as if you were someone you truly admired and respected. Treat yourself as you would that teacher who inspires you, or your loving parents (or the idea of loving parents). Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your hero or kid sister. Allow yourself to be empowered by yourself. Be your own hero, and treat yourself like one. To be clear, I am not saying that you should turn into a self-centered narcissist. Many of us are very kind to strangers, and to friends. Each of us beats ourself up when down. I am suggesting, that with practice, to be kinder to yourself. Give your own self pep-talks. Treat yourself every once in awhile. Buy yourself something nice, or treat yourself to a beautiful walk at sunset.
I believe that if each of us treats ourselves better on the inside, it will show on the outside. This is something that will spread. When a person feels good, they start to look and act better. I hypothesis that people will start to treat others even better, because they themselves feel better.
As all successful projects need, we need a simple beginning. I propose that we each start by being kind to ourselves three times this week. It could start with simply smiling at yourself in the mirror. We take time to smile to everyone else, how often do we smile at ourselves? Maybe give yourself a compliment, to start off with. The best part about this project is that it will continue to grow. You will become creative. Start simple and keep it up. Let your own inner kindness project be a focus. It is my hope that the inner kindness will spread in ourselves and others. I believe that this may help each of us take a step closer to finding our true happiness.
References:
1. ‘Pay it Forward Get Your Share!’ http://www.youtube.com/embed/JvbgetKzrmA. (21 June 2011)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Everyone has an Opinion on Happiness.
Many people have researched this topic. Happiness, to most individuals, is kind of a big deal. We make big and small choices based on what we think will make us happy. We will settle in a neighborhood that we think will bring our children the most joy. We plan parties, for ourselves and others, hoping to fill a day with something pleasurable. Each of us pick a reasonable career, and ideally pick the job that will bring us the most happiness for the most pay. After weighing the pros and cons of many of life’s choices, we make a decision. Often times we will choose something that we think will bring the highest amount of utility. (Utility is a term used in philosophy that describes happiness). We want the sensation of being satisfied to last. Many intellectuals have studied this. In fact, many people of our time have analyzed happiness. I would like to take a moment to briefly summarize some areas of happiness studied by others.
How many times in your life have you heard that volunteering makes you happier? Is there any truth to this? Does a person’s quality of life really improve just by lending a hand to others? Well, one study says that it does. Francesca Borgonovi, of The London School of Economics, performed a study that examines if in fact those who volunteer have a greater sense of well being. The data is very interesting. She compares health and happiness to people of all different walks of life (including: marital status, income, education, ethnicity, ideology, age, employment, work hours, and all compared against how often a person volunteers). The conclusion of this study is that people who volunteer their time and energy are happier and healthier than those who do not. Borgonovi suggests that the higher satisfaction in life may be due to the feeling that they are needed. Her data is also clear that those who donate blood or money to charity are not more likely to feel that greater sense of well-being. One of the reasons she presents is simply that people who work one-on-one will connect. Without that feeling of connectedness, it is hard to truly have a sense that a difference is being made by the gesture.
Tony Robbins is a famous motivational speaker. Here is a clip where he defines what the purpose of life is for one man, and his rules.
(Robbins, T.)
Part of the reason I love this clip, is simply because I feel that the answers given here are honest. I think that many of us would give the same answer, that life’s purpose for ourself is happiness. We each have our own set of rules and it is confusing. Do we need to sit down and create a blueprint of what we think will make us happy? Will that make us happy?
Another study was done on comparing the happiness of a person to how much money they make. More specifically, this study aims to prove that our physical constraints in life and happiness are due in large part to our success, or lack of. Interesting that maybe there is some truth to thinking that money can buy happiness; or rather can buy the things needed to make a person happy. (Becker, G. & Rayo, L.)
I think that the biggest truth to what holds us back from our own self-fulfillment is ourselves. Many of us are angry and bitter that certain parts of life have not turned out how we expected. Nick Vujicic says it all. I would like to end this post on his thoughts. (Please ignore the ending commercial to buy his DVD, that is not the message I want you to ponder). We can each take any moment in our lives to become empowered by the situation life gives. Never give up. Tell yourself you can. Do yourself a favor, and live! This may be the biggest key to life’s happiness.
(Vujicic, N.)
References:
Becker, G., Rayo, L. ‘Evolutionary efficiency and happiness’. Journal of Political Economy. 115(2). (2007).
Borgonovi, F. ‘Doing well by doing good. The relationship between formal volunteering and self-reported health and happiness’. Social Science & Medicine. 66.(2008). 2321-2334.
Robbins, T. ‘Rules for happiness’ Unleash the Power Within Seminar. (June 2008). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvUbIzJQPU. (13 June 2011).
Vujicic, N. ‘No arms, no legs, no worries’. (27 March 2010). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjbX6mDnMwM
‘Welcome to a whole new experience’. Lifelong Happiness. http://www.lifelonghappiness.com/welcome#. (14 June 2011).
(http://www.lifelonghappiness.com/welcome#)How many times in your life have you heard that volunteering makes you happier? Is there any truth to this? Does a person’s quality of life really improve just by lending a hand to others? Well, one study says that it does. Francesca Borgonovi, of The London School of Economics, performed a study that examines if in fact those who volunteer have a greater sense of well being. The data is very interesting. She compares health and happiness to people of all different walks of life (including: marital status, income, education, ethnicity, ideology, age, employment, work hours, and all compared against how often a person volunteers). The conclusion of this study is that people who volunteer their time and energy are happier and healthier than those who do not. Borgonovi suggests that the higher satisfaction in life may be due to the feeling that they are needed. Her data is also clear that those who donate blood or money to charity are not more likely to feel that greater sense of well-being. One of the reasons she presents is simply that people who work one-on-one will connect. Without that feeling of connectedness, it is hard to truly have a sense that a difference is being made by the gesture.
Tony Robbins is a famous motivational speaker. Here is a clip where he defines what the purpose of life is for one man, and his rules.
(Robbins, T.)
Part of the reason I love this clip, is simply because I feel that the answers given here are honest. I think that many of us would give the same answer, that life’s purpose for ourself is happiness. We each have our own set of rules and it is confusing. Do we need to sit down and create a blueprint of what we think will make us happy? Will that make us happy?
Another study was done on comparing the happiness of a person to how much money they make. More specifically, this study aims to prove that our physical constraints in life and happiness are due in large part to our success, or lack of. Interesting that maybe there is some truth to thinking that money can buy happiness; or rather can buy the things needed to make a person happy. (Becker, G. & Rayo, L.)
I think that the biggest truth to what holds us back from our own self-fulfillment is ourselves. Many of us are angry and bitter that certain parts of life have not turned out how we expected. Nick Vujicic says it all. I would like to end this post on his thoughts. (Please ignore the ending commercial to buy his DVD, that is not the message I want you to ponder). We can each take any moment in our lives to become empowered by the situation life gives. Never give up. Tell yourself you can. Do yourself a favor, and live! This may be the biggest key to life’s happiness.
(Vujicic, N.)
References:
Becker, G., Rayo, L. ‘Evolutionary efficiency and happiness’. Journal of Political Economy. 115(2). (2007).
Borgonovi, F. ‘Doing well by doing good. The relationship between formal volunteering and self-reported health and happiness’. Social Science & Medicine. 66.(2008). 2321-2334.
Robbins, T. ‘Rules for happiness’ Unleash the Power Within Seminar. (June 2008). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvUbIzJQPU. (13 June 2011).
Vujicic, N. ‘No arms, no legs, no worries’. (27 March 2010). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjbX6mDnMwM
‘Welcome to a whole new experience’. Lifelong Happiness. http://www.lifelonghappiness.com/welcome#. (14 June 2011).
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Why should you and society care about happiness?
What we do in life, does affect others. It may not be intentional, but how we feel internally is shown externally. To think that your happiness is all your own, is a lie. Not only do you personally affect people you do know, you influence people you don’t. Your happiness or unhappiness can have a ripple affect. For this reason alone what you do, how you act, and how you treat yourself (and others...) matters. Your individual happiness matters. You owe it to yourself, loved ones, and people you don’t even know, to allow yourself happiness. Learn how to be truly happy daily.
Happiness is important for society as a whole; and is equally as important as it is on an individual level. Who a person may encounter, and what happens in that interaction, can truly affect the mood of that person. Maybe the influence is small, but it does happen. We do have the power to influence others, and we do daily. For example, have you ever been on the phone with a customer service line? How different is your experience when your agent is chipper? Have you ever snapped at an agent, only to see how quickly their mood shifts? Or have you ever been nice to the agent when they have been rude and watched their mood lift? It is foolish to say that your happiness is not influenced by others. Sometimes the impact of society is slow to penetrate our emotional and mental barriers, but it can get through. This is why I believe happiness is so important for society.
Inside your mind’s eye, picture that you have just woken from sleep completely refreshed. Your body woke before the alarm; and outside your window you see the beautiful sunrise. The pastel pink, purple, blue and yellow colors in the sky take your breathe away; and as rain clouds roll in, you notice how beautiful the sky looks. Even as the rain drizzles, the smell of fresh rain fills the air; and you know today is going to be beautiful. Plenty of time is available to enjoy your morning shower, while listening to your favorite song. You enjoy a delicious breakfast and head off to work. As you stop for gas you notice a frazzled looking person pumping gas next to you. Understanding that feeling, you greet them “Good Morning”, with a warm and encouraging smile. After noticing that they seem to be carrying the world on their shoulder, you politely wish them well for the day. This person rudely mumbles and drives away. As you pay for your gas, and greet the teller, you offer another encouraging smile. Once again you are shot down. Slowly throughout the day, with each person you encounter, the desire changes from a hopeful and pleasant tone, to something of a more negative mood. After awhile your lifted mood fades and you start to drift into the mood of society. The mood you had changed, and was slowly influenced by those people around you (people you may or may not have known).
Another situation could look completely different, and influence you in a different way. Now picture waking up on a cold, wet, and gloomy looking day. The alarm clock does not sound and the day is off to a late start. The shower has no hot water and the sink is leaking. Not only are you now running late but you hit every red light, only to realize you need to stop for gas. You pull into the gas station and the person next to you greets you with a warm smile and says “Good morning, looks like another wet day.” The person notices your heavy face and says “Chin-up, a bright day is ahead of you”, you smile slightly, mumble a thank you and drive away. That person noticed you and seemed to genuinely care, or at least understand the feeling. You wonder for a brief moment if your mumbling “Have a nice day” sounded as harsh as you feel at the moment. Still pondering how this person could seem so happy, you arrive late to work; and run straight into your boss. Your boss laughs and says “Rough morning?”, you laugh too. With each person you encounter, your mood lifts. Isn’t it funny how the people we meet on a daily basis can truly influence our mood. A day can start off dreadful, only to develop into a wonderful one.
Think of the two situations presented. Haven’t many of us experienced similar mornings? What we do as individuals matter. How we interact with society matters. We do not always know the affect we have on others. It is easy to get lost in our own head and assume that your actions do not have anything to do with another person; and this is foolish thinking. When you walk slowly on a crowded street, you are forcing everyone behind you to slow down. Alternately, when you walk quickly down a street, and are stuck behind a slow walker, you realize at times in life you can only go as fast as the person in front of you. Our actions affect others; sometimes it happens directly or indirectly. I want to live in a society where people feel that their lives are meaningful. A place is only as good as the people in it. I want people to be happy, and you should too. If the people around you are happier, you will be treated better, and your day will be uplifted directly or indirectly. Who knows why those other people were happy, but it helped you. No matter what your personal philosophy or religious beliefs may be, your happiness matters. We are all here together at this time. We are in this life together, as a society. Humans are social creatures, and we will forever be surrounded by others. Why not make the most of it? If we are all here together, then why not make our individual moods better? This could be for the bettering of society, or just the bettering of you; but, as you can see from the examples, sometimes they are one in the same.
Happiness is important for society as a whole; and is equally as important as it is on an individual level. Who a person may encounter, and what happens in that interaction, can truly affect the mood of that person. Maybe the influence is small, but it does happen. We do have the power to influence others, and we do daily. For example, have you ever been on the phone with a customer service line? How different is your experience when your agent is chipper? Have you ever snapped at an agent, only to see how quickly their mood shifts? Or have you ever been nice to the agent when they have been rude and watched their mood lift? It is foolish to say that your happiness is not influenced by others. Sometimes the impact of society is slow to penetrate our emotional and mental barriers, but it can get through. This is why I believe happiness is so important for society.
Inside your mind’s eye, picture that you have just woken from sleep completely refreshed. Your body woke before the alarm; and outside your window you see the beautiful sunrise. The pastel pink, purple, blue and yellow colors in the sky take your breathe away; and as rain clouds roll in, you notice how beautiful the sky looks. Even as the rain drizzles, the smell of fresh rain fills the air; and you know today is going to be beautiful. Plenty of time is available to enjoy your morning shower, while listening to your favorite song. You enjoy a delicious breakfast and head off to work. As you stop for gas you notice a frazzled looking person pumping gas next to you. Understanding that feeling, you greet them “Good Morning”, with a warm and encouraging smile. After noticing that they seem to be carrying the world on their shoulder, you politely wish them well for the day. This person rudely mumbles and drives away. As you pay for your gas, and greet the teller, you offer another encouraging smile. Once again you are shot down. Slowly throughout the day, with each person you encounter, the desire changes from a hopeful and pleasant tone, to something of a more negative mood. After awhile your lifted mood fades and you start to drift into the mood of society. The mood you had changed, and was slowly influenced by those people around you (people you may or may not have known).
Another situation could look completely different, and influence you in a different way. Now picture waking up on a cold, wet, and gloomy looking day. The alarm clock does not sound and the day is off to a late start. The shower has no hot water and the sink is leaking. Not only are you now running late but you hit every red light, only to realize you need to stop for gas. You pull into the gas station and the person next to you greets you with a warm smile and says “Good morning, looks like another wet day.” The person notices your heavy face and says “Chin-up, a bright day is ahead of you”, you smile slightly, mumble a thank you and drive away. That person noticed you and seemed to genuinely care, or at least understand the feeling. You wonder for a brief moment if your mumbling “Have a nice day” sounded as harsh as you feel at the moment. Still pondering how this person could seem so happy, you arrive late to work; and run straight into your boss. Your boss laughs and says “Rough morning?”, you laugh too. With each person you encounter, your mood lifts. Isn’t it funny how the people we meet on a daily basis can truly influence our mood. A day can start off dreadful, only to develop into a wonderful one.
Think of the two situations presented. Haven’t many of us experienced similar mornings? What we do as individuals matter. How we interact with society matters. We do not always know the affect we have on others. It is easy to get lost in our own head and assume that your actions do not have anything to do with another person; and this is foolish thinking. When you walk slowly on a crowded street, you are forcing everyone behind you to slow down. Alternately, when you walk quickly down a street, and are stuck behind a slow walker, you realize at times in life you can only go as fast as the person in front of you. Our actions affect others; sometimes it happens directly or indirectly. I want to live in a society where people feel that their lives are meaningful. A place is only as good as the people in it. I want people to be happy, and you should too. If the people around you are happier, you will be treated better, and your day will be uplifted directly or indirectly. Who knows why those other people were happy, but it helped you. No matter what your personal philosophy or religious beliefs may be, your happiness matters. We are all here together at this time. We are in this life together, as a society. Humans are social creatures, and we will forever be surrounded by others. Why not make the most of it? If we are all here together, then why not make our individual moods better? This could be for the bettering of society, or just the bettering of you; but, as you can see from the examples, sometimes they are one in the same.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Pursuing Happiness is kind of a Big Deal...
All I truly want in life, is to wake up one morning and say honestly “ I want nothing more”. One of my favorite movies is ‘Meet Joe Black’, and in this film the character William Parrish speaks of his life at his birthday party, and last day on earth:
Imagine for a moment if that could be you. This is the statement of someone truly happy, content, pleased with the way they lived their life. I understand it is a film, and William Parrish is fictional; but it does not stop me from believing that that type of contentment is possible. This is what I want in my life.
There are moments in life that bring fillings of complete satisfaction. Some moments you know that there is nowhere else you would rather be. The feeling of the presence brings so much joy, peace, comfort, and fulfillment. These experiences bring a sense that time has stopped for the moment (for your moment). In these moments the world around you disappears, and nothing feels better. I am searching for that deep sense of inner peace, gratitude, and in a sense love.
Happiness is really much more than feeling good. We each innately know this. In our darkest of times someone usually tries to console by saying words of encouragement and comfort. Some common phrases are “Keep moving forward”, “that is what life”. That is what we tell ourselves, even when things do not go as planned. We know that bad things have happened, and will continue to happen; but we tell one another to keep moving forward. If you were to ask why, the response is usually a statement that says ‘that’s life”. So, what do we do in these difficult times? Well, the world does not stop, the bills continue to roll in. Even if it feels like your world has completely imploded, the sun sets and rises. What comes next is the every day things. We pay the bills and we don’t stop living. Even if you think you know what will happen, it doesn’t always. This is called hope. We hope for better days and for something more.
There is nothing more miserable than when life inches along. Time ticks by, and no longer are you counting hours; and at this point, you hope to one day reach the point where you can count hours. Now you are counting seconds until another day passes. I have been at that point in my life, a time when my world felt like it ended; and only came to realize that did not end. In some ways that was more difficult and I had to someway keep moving forward. I decided that I was not going to let this thing beat me, and that I would find happiness, whatever that meant for me. There are times when positive emotions flood through the body; and times when you want time to slow. All I knew was that I wanted life to feel like it was moving too fast, because when you count the seconds in a day, or how many breathes you’ve taken in an hour, it isn’t enough. How can a man with no limbs, like Nick Vujicic, be so happy and I so unhappy?
Life is beautiful, and in darker moments it is very difficult to see. I want to find ways to concur those moments. To find quick ways out of the deep dark hole and find my way into contentment and joy. Happiness is a big deal to most of us, and I know I am not alone in my pursuit. If I was, they would not have included the right into the United States Constitution. Yes, I believe it is important to every one of us. How nice would it be to go to one spot to see many different techniques and steps to find happiness. The thing about happiness is that it can be temporary. Bad things happen or mood spoilers, but true happiness is what I am searching for. True happiness is more stable, and one bad thing, or a few, won’t shake it. That is what I am looking for, and if you are truly honest with yourself. I believe you are too.
References:
1. 'Meet Joe Black' (1998).
“I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we're all together, and you're mine for a night. And I'm going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, "I don't want anything more." Sixty-five years. Don't they go by in a blink??”[1]
Imagine for a moment if that could be you. This is the statement of someone truly happy, content, pleased with the way they lived their life. I understand it is a film, and William Parrish is fictional; but it does not stop me from believing that that type of contentment is possible. This is what I want in my life.
There are moments in life that bring fillings of complete satisfaction. Some moments you know that there is nowhere else you would rather be. The feeling of the presence brings so much joy, peace, comfort, and fulfillment. These experiences bring a sense that time has stopped for the moment (for your moment). In these moments the world around you disappears, and nothing feels better. I am searching for that deep sense of inner peace, gratitude, and in a sense love.
Happiness is really much more than feeling good. We each innately know this. In our darkest of times someone usually tries to console by saying words of encouragement and comfort. Some common phrases are “Keep moving forward”, “that is what life”. That is what we tell ourselves, even when things do not go as planned. We know that bad things have happened, and will continue to happen; but we tell one another to keep moving forward. If you were to ask why, the response is usually a statement that says ‘that’s life”. So, what do we do in these difficult times? Well, the world does not stop, the bills continue to roll in. Even if it feels like your world has completely imploded, the sun sets and rises. What comes next is the every day things. We pay the bills and we don’t stop living. Even if you think you know what will happen, it doesn’t always. This is called hope. We hope for better days and for something more.
There is nothing more miserable than when life inches along. Time ticks by, and no longer are you counting hours; and at this point, you hope to one day reach the point where you can count hours. Now you are counting seconds until another day passes. I have been at that point in my life, a time when my world felt like it ended; and only came to realize that did not end. In some ways that was more difficult and I had to someway keep moving forward. I decided that I was not going to let this thing beat me, and that I would find happiness, whatever that meant for me. There are times when positive emotions flood through the body; and times when you want time to slow. All I knew was that I wanted life to feel like it was moving too fast, because when you count the seconds in a day, or how many breathes you’ve taken in an hour, it isn’t enough. How can a man with no limbs, like Nick Vujicic, be so happy and I so unhappy?
Life is beautiful, and in darker moments it is very difficult to see. I want to find ways to concur those moments. To find quick ways out of the deep dark hole and find my way into contentment and joy. Happiness is a big deal to most of us, and I know I am not alone in my pursuit. If I was, they would not have included the right into the United States Constitution. Yes, I believe it is important to every one of us. How nice would it be to go to one spot to see many different techniques and steps to find happiness. The thing about happiness is that it can be temporary. Bad things happen or mood spoilers, but true happiness is what I am searching for. True happiness is more stable, and one bad thing, or a few, won’t shake it. That is what I am looking for, and if you are truly honest with yourself. I believe you are too.
References:
1. 'Meet Joe Black' (1998).
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Introduction
Once upon a time you were born; and as your life began, so did your personal pursuit for happiness. Even as children, we pursued things that aided in us feeling good. Over time, the things that made us feel good changed. We set goals in hopes of attaining something more as we strive for success; and part of that motivation is the hope of ultimately conjuring another feeling of some type of satisfaction. At some point we need more than passing feel good moments. With that realization we begin to search more for a feeling that is not so fleeting, but rather more a constant feeling of contentment or joy. It almost seems as though it is part of human nature to naturally pursue that which makes us feel good. It is even hard to accept that the things that make us feel good immediately do not always bring us happiness.
Each day we search for a mental state of delight, satisfaction, contentment, joy, bliss, good fortune, pleasure and peace.[1][3] Daily we pursue happiness, and our U.S. Constitution gives us the right to do so. I will admit to wanting my own life story to include that I lived happily ever after, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not alone in this want. I use the phrase 'happily ever after', because it is something many of us grew up hearing from books and movies. Living happily ever after is so appealing to me because the thought implies that happiness comes easily for the rest of that person’s days. Is it possible that knowing what happiness is, and different methods of how to feel it, will help it be felt effortlessly? Benjamin Franklin said “The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
Each day we search for a mental state of delight, satisfaction, contentment, joy, bliss, good fortune, pleasure and peace.[1][3] Daily we pursue happiness, and our U.S. Constitution gives us the right to do so. I will admit to wanting my own life story to include that I lived happily ever after, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not alone in this want. I use the phrase 'happily ever after', because it is something many of us grew up hearing from books and movies. Living happily ever after is so appealing to me because the thought implies that happiness comes easily for the rest of that person’s days. Is it possible that knowing what happiness is, and different methods of how to feel it, will help it be felt effortlessly? Benjamin Franklin said “The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
What is true happiness? If happiness is a subjective state of well-being, then does it really mean that everyone has their own notion of what it includes? [4] Whatever it is, and wherever it comes from, it must feel fantastic; and exploring what that means individually can be very fun. We know that it is more than something that is just fun or just feels good. Over the past few years I have pondered seriously over what it means to be happy. After many night long debates with friends, family and strangers, I concluded that most of us are in search of it, but few of us understand what it is. Many of us think that when we feel it, we can recognize it. Happiness, with all its biological underpinnings, its many layers, and intensities, clearly is more complex than simply feeling good. [3][4]
This is such a universally human search that there is more information on it than one person could handle. If there is so much research, why is it so difficult for so many to explain? Why is it that sometimes it is so difficult to feel? Happiness can be defined as emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy, that are experienced when in a mental state of well being; but this is only one definition. [2] There have been many different fields of research on this topic: biology, psychology, philosophy, religion, happiness economics, as well as other studies that have attempted to identify and define what it really is. [3] It is clear that it is more than a feeling. Will Wilkinson, of the CATO Institute, says “We don’t necessarily value episodes with more total pleasure over episodes with less”. [4] Happiness is much deeper than the superficial moments of feeling pleasure. Some of the greatest minds have dived into this topic. Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says that what a persons think will bring him or her happiness is frequently wrong; and our psychological immune system can cause happy feelings, even when things go wrong in life.[5]
[5]
My purpose in this blog is to attempt to research and explore what true happiness is, and report back. Is it really attainable for everyone? Can any person become truly happy? I will attempt to summarize different takes on happiness, and some will include the above mentioned fields of research. I will research philosophers, psychologists, motivational speakers, experts in the fields, just to name a few. I will attempt to tackle one type of approach at a time, in order to help fully understand the concept. My hope is that with a better understanding of what it is and different methods of reaching the state of happiness, that we can all be happier on a daily basis. In this project I hope to compile enough information to help myself and others form and strengthen beliefs on what happiness is. This is how I hope to create a brief and inspiring source to help individuals, who are also in the pursuit of happiness, create their own personal happily ever after. Cheesy pursuit?... Maybe.... but admit it, you want it too.
References:
2. Ferguson, Will, “Happiness”, 2001, http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=happiness&a=*C.happiness-_*Word-
3. “Happiness”, wikipedia.org, 24 May 2011, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness
4. Wilkinson, Will. “In Pursuit of Happiness Research: Is it Reliable? What does it Imply for Policy?” In Policy Analysis. no. 590 (2007). CATO Institute (23 May 2011).
5. Gilbert, Dan, “Dan Gilbert asks, Why are We Happy?”, ted.com, Feb 2004, http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html
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